If you are one who is blessed to know me; and I mean really know me; then you will know that I care for the whole world and I am there for anyone that I meet or talk to. Often I am jumping into their issue and there to help. I find myself offering up words of encouragement, then privately I am coming up with a plan to help them meet their needs without being asked. I can remember this care and concern for people very early in life; probably around the same time that I gave God my life.
This is why God told me to go. This is the longest time that I have been away from my son since his birth. It has been hard for me emotionally. As my son is dealing with the hardest thing that anyone could ever face, I am trying to help everybody still! God did not tell me to do that. God gave me commandments to follow and obey. I have always done that throughout my life but I add-on the part that should not be there.
I am not the typical social media person. I find myself praying for people who I went to school with 30 years ago because they asked their “friends” to pray for their mother, cat, dog, shoe. I take 7 medications (high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high blood glucose, acid reflux) and I’m wondering why. I eat right. I am active. What the world?
God gave me 3 blessings that I asked, begged, and pleaded with him to give me. Shay, Angelo, and Kash. I have been a good steward over what the Lord has given me while still helping random family and friends. God woke me up a few months ago and I am like the happiest person in the world in spite of the death sentence that my son has been given. I want to share with the world and let them know that Christ is coming back.
As I am living with my new-found joy, I realized that my house is not in order. How I am going to be concerned about everyone in the world and my house is not in order? I raised my children in the same manner in which my mother raised me. I lost my mother when I was 12 years old. I was just devastated beyond compare; then ten years later, I lost a very dear friend; and now I am dealing with losing one of the blessings that I treasure most. I thought about the age that God makes us accountable for our own actions and I became alarmed. Before I allowed my son to stay with his dad, I felt that I had given my son every thing that he needed to know the love of God and want to have a personal relationship with Him. I was hurt, disappointed, and upset that my house had forgotten what I taught them.
I left my dying son because, I’m not trying to take those medications when I don’t need them. I have to get my house in order and that’s all.